Amakove Wala, the visionary founder of Wanderlust Diaries, recently bared her soul on ‘Shared Moments with Justus,’ sharing the profound lessons learned from the trials and tribulations of her past marriage.
In 2006, Amakove entered into a marriage that displayed early warning signs.
However, societal expectations and the pressure to conform led her to overlook these indicators. A self-proclaimed “good student of life,” Amakove believed she could overcome any challenges that arose within the confines of her marriage.
The red flags persisted, and even before exchanging vows, Amakove sensed the looming issues.
Despite her intuition, she found solace in ticking the boxes society had laid out for her.
As a high achiever in various aspects of her life, she attempted to compensate for the marital shortcomings by excelling in her career and parenting.
However, the facade began to crumble when she lost her well-paying job in 2013.
Amakove candidly revealed that her marriage had reached a point where sex became a tool of control, bordering on sexual abuse.
”Sex was almost used as a tool, It was sexual abuse now that I think of it. It was given when he wanted or denied it as a way to punish you. Most people don’t understand how a husband can deny his wife sex.” He recalled.
This realization marked a turning point for her, as she grappled with feelings of inadequacy and the harsh reality that she couldn’t fix everything.
The breakdown of her marriage brought about a cascade of challenges, from financial struggles to health issues and property disputes. Amakove, a natural fixer, found herself unable to mend the fractures in her relationship, leading to a period of personal turmoil.
”One day I was called by the landlord and was told rent for almost two months had not been paid, I was then called by the school and was told not to take my kids to school as school fees had not been paid.
I was also called by a company we had brought property in and was told that they were selling the property because there was a charge (1.2 million) which had not been paid.”
Her journey towards healing and empowerment began with a shift in mentality. Amakove recognized that the failure of her marriage was not solely her responsibility.
With the support of her family and friends, she emerged from the chaos, both financially and emotionally.